3. Making Mistakes

Let's explore these two questions together:

Why do we have such a hard time accepting mistakes? How can we turn mistakes into valuable life lessons?

Most of us have difficulty accepting mistakes because of our families, schools, and culture favor perfectionism.  We are taught to eat properly and use our chopsticks in the right way.  We are given high marks for handing in flawless assignments and receive rewards for performing perfectly.  We are given attention if we dress impeccably and present ourselves well.  There seems to be little room for letting our hair down or just being ourselves.  We cannot deviate from the prescribed mold and pathway.  

Otherwise, we may receive a negative comment, rejection, or even be shamed in public.  This amounts to social suicide if we do not obey, follow the rules, and become perfect.  There is so much fear in making mistakes in light of this unrelenting drive to perfection.  We end up feeling worthless, shameful, and awful about who we are.  We may even hide and not find our voice and our true self.

Only when we see mistakes as natural and necessary steps towards growth will we appreciate the gift of imperfection.  Researcher and speaker Brene Brown in her book, "The Gifts of Imperfection," reveals these three gifts: to be brave in being vulnerable, compassionate, and kind to ourselves and have a meaningful connection with another trusted person.  

When we are accepted by another person, family members, or partners, we can then be brave to reveal our vulnerabilities and mistakes.  Through the eyes of a loving and accepting person, we learn to be compassionate and kind to ourselves.  We can comfort, soothe and encourage our shaky self.  We then begin to appreciate the vulnerability and mistakes are part of our precious being.  We are both strong and weak, perfect and imperfect, good and bad.  Making mistakes is just part of us, our experience, our life as human beings.  It's OK to be vulnerable.  It's OK to be making mistakes.