Sunday, April 10, 2022

7. The Power of Ambivalence

While we try to be positive for ourselves and our family during uncertainties and challenges, we may inadvertently suppress negative emotions, like doubts, disappointments, and fears. Research has reflected that this may not be the best approach. We have noticed that"Stay Home" school or work has brought positive and negative experiences to children and adults alike. We have "mixed feelings" about this season of life because it reflects the complexities of this season. We adopt this mixed approach in facing an unpredictable future to fend off disappointments or failures. "Mixed emotional state" may be beneficial at a time of abrupt changes and uncertainties. It helps us slow down, takes stock, and think it through. If we are alone in this state of ambivalence, we may feel stuck. However, research has shown that if we talk it through with someone who listens and creates space for collaborative exploration, we benefit from these mixed emotional states. We may gain positive engagement, insight, and focus on the present moment. We may feel supported, creative and calmer in the process.

Steps to access the power of ambivalence:

1. Be someone capable of listening and validating emotions.

2. Ask: "What are you comfortable with and one thing you feel worried about?"

3. Ask: "What can we do to make the situation easier for you?"

4. Ask: "What resources do you need to help with this situation?"

5. Ask: "How, who, and when do you want to do this with?"

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